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By Ray Hanania
Southwest News-Herald Friday April 5, 2013
North Korea has always made outlandish, violent threats against the United States since the armistice deal was signed, first by Un’s father, the late maniac Kim Jong Il, who was truly ill, and now the equally belligerent son whose uniform hangs on his shoulders like a clown.
Un: “OK Generals. We want to threaten to attack the United States and American occupied South Korea. Should we call the Americans the Great Satan?”
Generals: “That’s good but the term has already been taken. Let’s come up with something new.”
Un: “OK. Let’s just threaten to drop nuclear weapons on America and on American occupied South Korea.”
Generals: “Yes, let’s threaten to kill as many Americans as we possibly can. A nuclear strike would really be threatening.”
Un: “We’ve tested the nukes and no one deserves to be nuked more than America, the evil empire, and its puppet the American occupied South Korean slime.”
Generals: “Yes Comrade Un. All hail the memory of your father, Kim Jong Il.”
Un: “Of course, if we threaten to drop nuclear weapons on America and American occupied South Korea, won’t the Americans carpet bomb our country? Send Seal Team 6 to take me out in a night raid? Invade us the way they attacked Iraq for no real reason except oil?”
Generals: “Well, you hit the nail on the head Dictator Un.”
Un: “Nails have heads?”
Generals: “No that’s just a corrupt American saying.”
Generals: “Well, it’s simple. Americans won’t attack us precisely because we don’t have any oil. And Dick Cheney and Halliburton no longer run the American Military Industrial Complex.”
Un: “That sounds complex, all right. So we have nothing to worry about? The Americans are not going to invade us and call our bluff like they are threatening to do in Iran?”
Generals: “No. The Americans won’t call our bluff at all.”
Generals: “Well, to prevent the Americans from attacking us as we threaten to nuke them and kill Americans, their soldiers and the American occupied South Korea, we just have to not say one thing?”
Un: “What’s that?”
Generals: “Just don’t say anything about attacking Israel. If you even hint at criticizing Israel, the Israelis have a headlock on the U.S. Congress and they’ll order an invasion in a heartbeat.”
Un: “Let me get this straight. As long as we don’t criticize Israel, we can threaten nuclear war against America and get away with it?”
Un: “Sounds like a plan to me.”
(Ray Hanania is an award winning columnist. You may reach him athttp://www.TheMediaOasis.com and follow him on Twitter at @RayHanania.) — City & Suburban News-Herald
This post has already been read 60 times!
Hanania loves to write about American Arabs in politics, and focuses on Arab life in America.
Currently, he writes weekly columns on Middle East and American Arab issues for the Arab News in Saudi Arabia at www.ArabNews.com. He writes on American politics for the Des Plaines Valley News, Southwest News-Herald, The Regional News newspaper and the Reporter Newspapers. He also writes for the online websites TheArabDailyNews.com and NewsAmericaNetwork.com (Illinois News Network at IllinoisNewsNetwork.com).
Palestinian, American Arab and Christian, Hanania’s parents originate from Jerusalem and Bethlehem. Hanania began in journalism as an activist publishing Chicago’s first English-language American Arab Newspaper “The Middle Eastern Voice” from 1975 through 1977. In 1976, he was hired by the Chicago community newspaper The Southtown Economist (Daily Southtown) and in 1985 was hired by the Chicago Sun-Times and covered Chicago City Hall for both. In 1993, he launched the “The Villager” Newspapers which covered 12 Southwest Chicagoland suburban regions. In 2004, he published “The National Arab American Times” monthly newspaper which was distributed through 12,500 Middle East ethnic food stores in 48 American States.
Hanania is the recipient of four (4) Chicago Headline Club “Peter Lisagor Awards” for Column writing. In November 2006, he was named “Best Ethnic American Columnist” by the New American Media;In 2009, he received the prestigious Sigma Delta Chi Award for Writing from the Society of Professional Journalists. He is the recipient of the MT Mehdi Courage in Journalism Award. Hanania has also received two (2) Chicago Stick-o-Type awards from the Chicago Newspaper Guild, and in 1990 was nominated by the Chicago Sun-Times for a Pulitzer Prize for his four-part series on the Palestinian Intifada.
Hanania’s writings have been published in newspapers around the world. Formerly syndicated by Creators Syndicate, Hanania also has written news, features and Opinion Columns for Al Jazeera English, the Jerusalem Post, YNetNews.com, Arab News, Saudi Gazette, Newsday in New York, the Orlando Sentinel, the Houston Chronicle, The Daily Star, the News of the World, the Daily Yomimuri in Tokyo, Chicago Magazine, the Arlington Heights Daily Herald, and Aramco Magazine. His political columns are published in the Southwest News-Herald and Des Plaines Valley News, Regional News and Palos Reporter newspapers in Chicagoland. Hanania is the President/CEO of Urban Strategies Group media and public affairs consulting which has clients in Illinois, Florida, Michigan and Washington D.C.
Hanania is Palestinian Christian from prominent Bethlehem and Jerusalem families. His wife and son are Jewish and he performs standup comedy lampooning Arab-Jewish relations, advocating for peace based on non-violence, mutual recognition and Two-States.
His Facebook Page is Facebook.com/rghanania
Email him at: RGHanania@gmail.com
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